I'm not goin' all chia seed porridge on you ~

I’ve always admired athletic people. The ones that I see riding their bikes up the steep mountain grade or the loyal followers of yoga, with mats rolled up under their arms, entering the studio for their 6:00 am class. Not being able to make simple commitments has always been one of my biggest challenges. I don’t know exactly why, but I’m working on finding out. It just seems that the minute I make one, I feel like my freedom has been snatched away and now there is one more rule to follow. And this is even when the commitments are good for me.

The funny thing is that I am finding that most of the people I am health coaching are the same way. Maybe for different reasons, but many of us seem to have an aversion to too much regulation, too many “shoulds” ~ even the good stuff.

So instead of asking or telling you that you need to get up and get in a 30- minute workout, give up your coffee, and eat chia seed porridge (which by the way, I actually love) I’m going to give you something much simpler to start out your day. And yes, it is a bit of a commitment, but one so simple that you just might find yourself wanting to do it on a regular basis!

Begin with a good stretch
 ~ take a cue from your cat or dog.  Notice how they wake up. With a stretch ~ and it feels so good. Spend a couple of minutes stretching. This, you can even do while still in bed.

Now, get up. Follow this with a few “holding up the sky” stretches. Reach as high as you can with both arms, keeping your hands flat as though you are holding up a tray. Hold the stretch for a count of 10, then let your arms and head hang down toward the floor.  Repeat this a few times. And now, maybe a few, "touching the earth" ~ gently bend forward reaching for your toes (or maybe your knees). Do those a few times and then finish up with some waist twists, letting your arms swing.

If you’re anything like me, you are anxiously heading to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot about now.  So, while you’re waiting for the annoying buzzer to let you know that the coffee is done, you can take a seat and sit with your eyes slightly open (which shouldn’t be hard, since you just woke up!) Sit on the chair with your back straight, feet flat on the ground, and hands in your lap. Take a few deep breaths and wish the world well—whomever and whatever enters your mind at this time, simply think, I wish you well.

Continue to breathe quietly and deeply, paying attention to your breath. If you find yourself worrying or grouchy about something just tell yourself, It’s OK and go back to breathing.  A great morning mantra is “My life is amazing. Thank you, *God.” (*universe, world, whatever works for you.) I say this several times a day, and especially when I'm feeling the opposite! It kind of brings me back into a more grateful state. 

Giving thanks helps set the tone for the rest of the day. You can always find something to be thankful for upon waking. This should be fairly easy. There are a few obvious choices here: you woke up, you have a chair to sit in, and maybe even a delicious cup of coffee/tea/lemon water. Finish this morning practice off with another few deep cleansing breaths.

This way of starting each day can loosen up the knots in both our physical and mental bodies. These simple, feel good baby steps can often turn into big leaps, and who knows, you might just find yourself enrolling in a yoga class soon or joining a bike team, or hey, maybe even able to touch your toes. Sounds crazy, but one never knows. 

They say to feel happy, make someone else happy

The old saying, It’s better to give than to receive, apparently is true on many counts. For most people that makes it a win-win. Unless of course, you’re a sociopath, narcissist or any one of the Frank Underwood Administration. There are always exceptions.

I suggest that we try this for one week, 7 little days out of our lives. One gesture of giving, of kindness a day and let’s see how we feel at week’s end. In fact, if you are feeling down or upset, one of the greatest things you can do is to share a bit of kindness. Here are some really simple suggestions, things that you can do right now.

Photo by Tom Parsons on Unsplash

1. Give someone a compliment. We can always find something good — whether, I love your shoes, your smile, the skip in your step.

I told the girl behind the counter at the post office the other day that I loved her new haircut. I don’t know her but I see her there when I drop off packages and I noticed she had cut quite a bit of hair off. I was actually taken aback by her response.

Do you really? She was so excited. Oh my gosh, you just made my day. I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not. Oh, I’m so happy you think it looks good!

She was gushing and I left there feeling pretty good about my own self, too. Even though that was not at all my intention. I really did like her hair!

2. Take someone a small gift (flowers from your backyard/a bowl of oranges or fresh herbs from your garden)

3. Make someone’s day (buy the guy in line a cup of coffee, or better yet, the guy standing outside the coffee shop)

4. Call a friend. Or your Mom. Or someone who would love to hear from you.

5. Say hello and smile as you pass people.

6. Visit someone who lives alone.

7. Let someone go in front of you in line.

8. Listen without distractions. That’s right, put the phone away. Be present.

9. Leave your server the biggest tip you can afford.

10. If you see someone struggling, with a stroller, with grocery bags, up the steps or with whatever, do the old boy scout deed of helping. Lift groceries into their car, or up the steps, or tell them if tag is showing or their shirt is inside out. (Trust me, people appreciate this, it happened to me! https://medium.com/@kimklein_80466/your-tag-is-showing-f72c3c0ef25)

And remember, surround yourself with positive people, listen to your head, listen to your body, know when to say yes, and when to say no. You deserve kindness too!

The Best Years

I’m turning 62 this year. I remember not all that long ago when I heard people say things, like, “life starts at 50” or “the best is yet to come” I thought, Well, that all depends. How bad or mediocre was your life before? I always had a feeling this was somebody's idea of trying to cheer us on so that we would make it to the finish line.

But now I'm realizing that there is some truth behind this best years sentiment. It isn’t that there is more excitement, better sex, wild parties, booming career opportunities or lots of firsts to do or tell; it's because we finally get to be authentically, genuinely, ourselves.We don’t need to give a damn if we don’t give a damn. We no longer need to hide behind the facade of being perfect. Or of being effortlessly beautiful, or agreeable, or worrying if people like us. We can let our guard down and relax a little. Or like in the movie, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, we can finally exhale. 

By this time we should know who we are. No apologies necessary. We know what we like and what we don’t like. What we’ll live with and what we’ll live without. We have our tribe. We know our comfort zone and our boundaries. We may choose to leave them on occasion, but we at least know where they are.

Every age comes with its difficulties. If I look back, I’d have to say my teen years were probably some of the hardest. Or maybe it was my late 20s. There were struggles in my 30s, while 50 found me going through a divorce after 13 years of marriage. I was living alone in a small apartment with the one cat I never really bonded with, my daughter was off at college and my self-esteem and vitality were at an all-time low. Yeah, every life has its struggles, and they present themselves at every age. 

  

Even if we find ourselves with more challenges, such as physical limitations, or maybe we have become divorced, widowed, out of a job, or faced with an illness, if we’ve made it this far we have a fairly strong sense of survival. We’ve all experienced the good and the bad, the yin and the yang, and we know that what goes up, must come down. Whether we like it or not. Nothing lasts forever.

I’m not really sure if there are “best years” - I think just being lucky enough to have years makes them all pretty great. Different, but great. While some things definitely become a little harder with age, there are so many things that become easier. For example:

• I can make peace with my hair and forget about trying to find the perfect hairstyle (I've had the same one for the last 40 years, obviously, I'm not gonna change)
• I can quit thinking that one day I'll wear floral print dresses to garden parties instead of my jeans and black t-shirt  (I've actually accepted that I have always had a "didn't think I was going to get out of the car" kind of style)
• And, I no longer have to beat myself up for not running a marathon or making an attempt to climb Mt. Everest (I've felt the pressure before that these are types of things that I should want to do, but now I can say, I honestly have no desire to and never did)

And that's ok. I finally know and accept who I am. And it only took me about 60 years to do so.